Ring a Ring O' Roses ..

Ring, a ring o' roses,
A pocket full o’posies-

A-tishoo, A-tishoo

We all Fall Down …!

About that very famous nursery rhyme:

Legend has it that this rhyme was actually a coded reference to Bubonic Plague or Great Plague of London (a widespread, deadly disease once upon a time) –in which the patient first developed round reddish rashes in the shape of rings (“ring of red roses” ) – pockets would be filled will sweet smelling herbs (“posies”), since it was believed to be caused due to bad smells. The line “a tishoo-a tishoo” refers to Sneezing- a symptom of the disease, .. and Lastly, since the patient fell prey to death, the reference to “Falling down” [if you’ve had a normal childhood, and played these games, then u might recall how a ring was formed while kids chanted this rhyme, and ultimately all of ‘em fell down onto the ground!]

Even though, thankfully Bubonic plague still figures on my “haven’t-had-it-yet” list of diseases, along with Hepatitis, Appendicitis (which errm my birth horoscope claims unequivocally that I WILL be operated for, one day) along with others..

But it’s the “Ring a Ring O’ Roses” bit, that kept playing in my mind for the past ten days … day in and day out .. every second-of-every-minute-of-every-hour-of –my-existence …as *gulps painfully*

What with red, round, blisters that had sprung up on every inch of skin that I have diligently grown in the past 21 meaningless years of my life ..

YEAH! I am infected with *hold your breath* CHICKEN POX!

YOU KNOW! CHICKEN. POX.

Even as I have survived 10 painful days of this horrible … I repeat H.O.R.R.I.B.L.E disease (“Horrible” underlined, bolded, encircled with a dark red marker pen)

.. I can’t believe I actually DID develop Chicken Pox. It was always one of those things for me, which are just not meant for me, but only for ‘others’. Somehow, a fool that I am, I have always considered myself ABOVE many ordinary things that are supposed to be “mandatorily normal” for most mortals

(I mean I still DO!! :( )

Dream Company? *blank look*

Checking into OLT? *blank look*

Solving Questions 91-156, in Physics’ Ratan Guide … *Blankest look ever*

Chicken Pox? *rolls eyes*

CRASH … CRASSSSSSSSSSSHHHH .. and I was brought down..humbly.. down to the Rock Bottom.

And painfully so :(

For those who haven’t experienced it … I’ll be at my grossest best, and tell you what it’s like ! (hate me all you want *sticks out tongue impudently*)

So, you get these red boils/ blisters all over your body (tho the most affected spots are the face, the scalp and the trunk region)- and these are no ordinary boils, mind you! They seem to be filled with concentrated Nitric Acid or sum-such-fluid. Boy, oh boy! Do they hurt!

It’s like someone’s poking a thousand needles in your head and all other affected places. I personally grieved my needled Scalp the most- it drove me up the wall!!

And you can’t TOUCH them, god forbid! They are Sacred you see! … SACRED coz they threaten to leave behind ugly scars, stamping you for the rest of your life, at the slightest provocation/ manhandling.

I remember when I had come home from the Doc’s, on the first day of my discovery of these boils, diagnosed with “suspected chicken pox”. Scars was the first thing SMS had warned me against, when I had been arrogant enough to declare, “Comeon! That’s the LEAST of my worries” … well, in my defence, I had the prospect of 20 something wasted days of college, hounding me on the priority list!

Well, ten days have passed and my boils have reached the less-annoying stage of crusting. Which basically means: still ugly red spots, yet, those which hurt less and are just irritatingly itchy- not PAINFULLY so. And therein, dear Blogreader, lies all the difference in the World!!

I could have recited so many tales and experiences..in the goriest detail, in those days, but now that it’s passé, I somehow can’t bring myself to do it. *yawn*

Here is what I intend to do:

I’ll give you a checklist. A list of

“Do’s and Don’t’s while dealing with Chicken Pox Patients”

Oh, believe you me.. it’s important! I wish someone had fed this list to all my friends and acquaintances earlier.. I would have an easier time *sniff sniff* ;)

So, here goes :(BTW I’m not sure to what extent you could generalize it, if you please, call it “Do’s and Don’t’s while dealing with Chicken Pox-ed Shrutis”)

ü When you ask them, “How are you feeling now” … DONOT bother about the reply. DONOT consider to analyze the situation and phrase the sympathetic note in your reply. It should come promptly, AUTOMATICALLY. PRONTO!

Put in a lot of “awwwwss”… “realllly…soooo sad” “ Oooooooohhhs” “ awww .. you poor soul” … BLINDLY.

The CP-ed being will lap it up! …

No better antidote for a painfully incurable disease, than loads of sympathy! TONS of it. :P And yeah! I made my notes, … so all those of you who did your “awwws”and “ ooohs” correctly, get full points. And LOTS of blessings! :D

And those who acted Cheeky.. pphhhh … I gave all my guest Viruses your detailed addresses. With Special Recommendation.

*evil grin*

You know what to expect next! :P

[I’m telling you, people are heartless! Once, I spent ages unraveling the mystery of “how shruti got cp..” over SMS exchange :O … Will u believe that the conclusion of the baseless story was something like .. “the pox ate chicken, and you ate Him?! :( ”]

ü Okay. Write it down if you must! But PLEASE REMEMBER .. a bad joke with a CP-ed being is not just ‘no-hahas’.. it can be FATAL.

So, The next time someone tells you they’re down with chicken pox, you DON’T turn around with that Oh-I’m-being-so-smart-n-funny,

“But, When did you eat Chicken *wink wink*?” *aaaargggh*

Coz your CP will smile. Maybe Genuinely, once. Second time, Polite smile.

Third time, they’ll shrug in their sad acknowledgement of your handicapped joke.

But, the Fourth time?

Trust me, the FourthTime, they will just come over and SHOW you how they got it. A Practical Demonstration. On YOU. I would have done that, I swear, to every single one of these Smart Alecs, if I hadn’t been so drained of energy and resources :(

BTW: Meghna aka Jayemsee AKA cut-wrists, was the first one to crack this joke with me. So, I had actually not freaked out, but simply sighed (“Someone tell her that THAT one is called Chicken FLU… and somebody break her heart- tell her that im not down with a deadly, potentially fatal disease, but a perferctly normal, self-curing one !” :D :D)

ü Donot squirm your face in disgust even when the CP’s face resembles the pan in which you would make scrambled eggs! My own folks were Angelic when it came to this. They kept offering me real, affectionate hugs (when I was reduced to sooooooo un-huggably repulsive a creature, that even I would have recommended risking a tea-party with a crocodile, over bothering to move an inch towards me :()

I actually shut my eyes when I would have to visit the wash-basin for any purpose [the mirror-mirror-on-the-wall offered a sight that sent chilly shivers down my spine!]

ü If the CP asks you to STAY away to prevent infection, DO IT!!

Nothing like the guilt of having passed on the dreadful disease to your near and dear ones.

My Nanima- an old – very old and ill-in-health Lady, gave me hell when it came to this.

I literally had to DRIVE her out of my room, cry to get her off me- “checking my pulse” :O , or STOP her from rearranging all my totally infected stuff every morning!! I will never -in my wildest dreams- understand why she brushed aside my very logical and scientific explanation for my Seclusion from her, with such confidence and impudence. HOW?!

These grannies are a WEIRD lot!

DITTO for all my other folks, who were steadfastly by my side, DESPITE all my attempts at seclusion, rubbing in my “untouchable” status for the unvaccinated/ un- Chicken Poxe-ed souls.

Really, GOD FORBID, if one of them fell sick coz of me, I’ll drown myself in a bucketful of Chicken Pox Viruses!

Okay, I’m tired now. And sleepy. Relaxed- now that I've poured out all my Acid :P

Will go get some sleep :) Peace !!