Some more Blabbering ...

:)

Hear, Hear! … Today is a Free day :D .. I reached home before dark! And could afford to just sit and do NOTHING. :D

Tomorrow at least, speaks no deadline, and that is GOOD ENOUGH!

Errm .. there is some work though…

Let me see, I need to revise the Assignment for Prof. D [and this time, even if he screams “nahee chalegaa, babaaa!” at the top of his voice.. al be at a safe distance.. :P ] ..so no probs there ..

Then, I need to do the Consultancy Assignment … OK, technically I should be worried about it .. coz I have no clue what I am going to do, and HOW! The presentation is on … Wednesday I think?

Lots of time, lots of time … *rubbing hands together purposefully* :) .. and …

**writing after a gap of a few hours**

It is 12:48 A.M and I see Ankit’s status message- a quote by JNU! [d’oh! Jawahar Lal Nehru] … for a split of a second, I rub my eyes..! Why on earth does Ankit (of ALL people :P ) have a quote by JNU as his status ! It’s like Anshuman endorsing Chintu Candy as an A-Grade brand *gulp*

(mild apologies to both: unLucky Baba and the Cupid-ian Creature *ROTFL*) ^{##see note at bottom}

But of course! It’s Independence Day, ain’t it! :D And we are all happy, Independent Indians… :D And let’s face it.. some days in the year, every single person does get moved by such sentiments … if you are human, and a part of a nation.. it is an inescapable emotion :)

So, Happy Independence Day people! :)

Congratulations! On having being born into a country where you can speak your mind, take your decisions, express your opinions (without the fear of persecution) and where you can celebrate FREEDOM in real spirit.

Well, you certainly can!

Whether or not you choose to do so, is your call.

And here I would like to reiterate a seemingly trite, but extremely profound statement: Charity begins at home.

Everyday, we are confronted with choices. And it is real freedom, to be able to take a stand. To say yes when you agree and No when you disagree.

Simple things, really.

Thanks but no thanks, I donot drink.

I donot think smoking is cool.

I did not like that.

I donot wish to be a part of this.

**continuing this post on 15^th afternoon**

I disagree with what you just said.

I will not be a party to this.

Of course, these statements are purely illustrative in nature; you may or may not agree- but whatever your opinion, if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, coz of being unable to express it [for fear of retribution, ostracism, seclusion, or generally “not being liked anymore by friends”, then you ain’t Free but Fettered!]

To be able to turn around and tell the best-est of your mates that they are in the wrong – especially when their actions have a direct bearing on others’ lives, constitutes real Freedom, and a dignified existence.

Real freedom lies in being able to hold an opinion, and express it, when you so wish. Well, it is NOT always possible, sadly, in the real world- I know!

But the more you are capable of doing it, the more liberated in spirit you are.

There are two reasons for a person to not express their opinion: fear/ uncertainty and political correctness/ diplomacy for selfish reasons.

While the first evokes pity, the latter evokes contempt.

Bottomline of the whole unplanned discourse:

Independence is to be celebrated in real spirit, and not in SMS-es, or caller tunes, or morning assemblies and parades.

If we cannot voice our opinion in a mature dignified manner, to people we live with everyday, for the cause of what we believe to be right/ true- in matters of public interest … we will never be able to do justice to the Universal Adult Franchise, or freedom at a National Scale.

*Wow .. talk about digression! .. *

Hmmm…

Another thing by the way, I recently did something very HR-personish recently. Unwittingly though. And felt extremely weird too. But I did- to get some clarity about issues when my mind was a mess.

I conducted a crude Reference Check :P

You know, I never ask someone for “opinions” on person A, B C [their acquaintances or friends ] .. to get an idea about the latter’s character sketch. I donot like it. But somehow, the other day, I sort of conducted a “run me down A and B” :P , with the help of a friend.

Well, I got LOTS of instantaneous information, thanks to the kind resourcefulness of the Source, but I think all the information overload only made things difficult for me! And it also highlighted my not very accurate sense of perception/ judgment.

Yet again :(

Errm … looks like that’s enough blabbering for now. I’ll write my real post in the next one. Ciao

** I just discovered the other day, that Ankit calls the “Laughing Budhdha” , “Lucky Baba” :P .. when I threw a quizzical look, as to whom he was referring to when he talked abt “Lucky Baba”, he earnestly went on to explain.. “arre..the one who is bald, with a bag in hand…!! ” :D :D ..

And I used to be publicly mocked at, for calling the same thing, “Happy Budhdha” .. I mean comeon!! .. comeooooon!! :D :D LUCKY BABA!!

Now for the ‘Cupidian Creature’ .. *ahem* .. this is a monicker, given to Anshuman by our word-loose Consultancy Prof. .. His crime? He had turned around in class to look at our Smart Lady, quite by chance ;) :P pooor thing, I tell you! ..

(Although, I have little in terms of sympathy for him!: psst… before my Law presentation, I was anxious enough to ask him to hang my photograph on a wall of my choice, in the HR-I classroom- post the presentation. Any normal human being would have been expected to say something like “comeone, you will survive it..!”.. but nope!.. he jumped excitedly, to picking the flowers to be used for the Mala: “Orchids or Lily?” :( and how frequently would I like the mala to be replaced? .. working out the finances :( :O )

Ring a Ring O' Roses ..

Ring, a ring o' roses,
A pocket full o’posies-

A-tishoo, A-tishoo

We all Fall Down …!

About that very famous nursery rhyme:

Legend has it that this rhyme was actually a coded reference to Bubonic Plague or Great Plague of London (a widespread, deadly disease once upon a time) –in which the patient first developed round reddish rashes in the shape of rings (“ring of red roses” ) – pockets would be filled will sweet smelling herbs (“posies”), since it was believed to be caused due to bad smells. The line “a tishoo-a tishoo” refers to Sneezing- a symptom of the disease, .. and Lastly, since the patient fell prey to death, the reference to “Falling down” [if you’ve had a normal childhood, and played these games, then u might recall how a ring was formed while kids chanted this rhyme, and ultimately all of ‘em fell down onto the ground!]

Even though, thankfully Bubonic plague still figures on my “haven’t-had-it-yet” list of diseases, along with Hepatitis, Appendicitis (which errm my birth horoscope claims unequivocally that I WILL be operated for, one day) along with others..

But it’s the “Ring a Ring O’ Roses” bit, that kept playing in my mind for the past ten days … day in and day out .. every second-of-every-minute-of-every-hour-of –my-existence …as *gulps painfully*

What with red, round, blisters that had sprung up on every inch of skin that I have diligently grown in the past 21 meaningless years of my life ..

YEAH! I am infected with *hold your breath* CHICKEN POX!

YOU KNOW! CHICKEN. POX.

Even as I have survived 10 painful days of this horrible … I repeat H.O.R.R.I.B.L.E disease (“Horrible” underlined, bolded, encircled with a dark red marker pen)

.. I can’t believe I actually DID develop Chicken Pox. It was always one of those things for me, which are just not meant for me, but only for ‘others’. Somehow, a fool that I am, I have always considered myself ABOVE many ordinary things that are supposed to be “mandatorily normal” for most mortals

(I mean I still DO!! :( )

Dream Company? *blank look*

Checking into OLT? *blank look*

Solving Questions 91-156, in Physics’ Ratan Guide … *Blankest look ever*

Chicken Pox? *rolls eyes*

CRASH … CRASSSSSSSSSSSHHHH .. and I was brought down..humbly.. down to the Rock Bottom.

And painfully so :(

For those who haven’t experienced it … I’ll be at my grossest best, and tell you what it’s like ! (hate me all you want *sticks out tongue impudently*)

So, you get these red boils/ blisters all over your body (tho the most affected spots are the face, the scalp and the trunk region)- and these are no ordinary boils, mind you! They seem to be filled with concentrated Nitric Acid or sum-such-fluid. Boy, oh boy! Do they hurt!

It’s like someone’s poking a thousand needles in your head and all other affected places. I personally grieved my needled Scalp the most- it drove me up the wall!!

And you can’t TOUCH them, god forbid! They are Sacred you see! … SACRED coz they threaten to leave behind ugly scars, stamping you for the rest of your life, at the slightest provocation/ manhandling.

I remember when I had come home from the Doc’s, on the first day of my discovery of these boils, diagnosed with “suspected chicken pox”. Scars was the first thing SMS had warned me against, when I had been arrogant enough to declare, “Comeon! That’s the LEAST of my worries” … well, in my defence, I had the prospect of 20 something wasted days of college, hounding me on the priority list!

Well, ten days have passed and my boils have reached the less-annoying stage of crusting. Which basically means: still ugly red spots, yet, those which hurt less and are just irritatingly itchy- not PAINFULLY so. And therein, dear Blogreader, lies all the difference in the World!!

I could have recited so many tales and experiences..in the goriest detail, in those days, but now that it’s passé, I somehow can’t bring myself to do it. *yawn*

Here is what I intend to do:

I’ll give you a checklist. A list of

“Do’s and Don’t’s while dealing with Chicken Pox Patients”

Oh, believe you me.. it’s important! I wish someone had fed this list to all my friends and acquaintances earlier.. I would have an easier time *sniff sniff* ;)

So, here goes :(BTW I’m not sure to what extent you could generalize it, if you please, call it “Do’s and Don’t’s while dealing with Chicken Pox-ed Shrutis”)

ü When you ask them, “How are you feeling now” … DONOT bother about the reply. DONOT consider to analyze the situation and phrase the sympathetic note in your reply. It should come promptly, AUTOMATICALLY. PRONTO!

Put in a lot of “awwwwss”… “realllly…soooo sad” “ Oooooooohhhs” “ awww .. you poor soul” … BLINDLY.

The CP-ed being will lap it up! …

No better antidote for a painfully incurable disease, than loads of sympathy! TONS of it. :P And yeah! I made my notes, … so all those of you who did your “awwws”and “ ooohs” correctly, get full points. And LOTS of blessings! :D

And those who acted Cheeky.. pphhhh … I gave all my guest Viruses your detailed addresses. With Special Recommendation.

*evil grin*

You know what to expect next! :P

[I’m telling you, people are heartless! Once, I spent ages unraveling the mystery of “how shruti got cp..” over SMS exchange :O … Will u believe that the conclusion of the baseless story was something like .. “the pox ate chicken, and you ate Him?! :( ”]

ü Okay. Write it down if you must! But PLEASE REMEMBER .. a bad joke with a CP-ed being is not just ‘no-hahas’.. it can be FATAL.

So, The next time someone tells you they’re down with chicken pox, you DON’T turn around with that Oh-I’m-being-so-smart-n-funny,

“But, When did you eat Chicken *wink wink*?” *aaaargggh*

Coz your CP will smile. Maybe Genuinely, once. Second time, Polite smile.

Third time, they’ll shrug in their sad acknowledgement of your handicapped joke.

But, the Fourth time?

Trust me, the FourthTime, they will just come over and SHOW you how they got it. A Practical Demonstration. On YOU. I would have done that, I swear, to every single one of these Smart Alecs, if I hadn’t been so drained of energy and resources :(

BTW: Meghna aka Jayemsee AKA cut-wrists, was the first one to crack this joke with me. So, I had actually not freaked out, but simply sighed (“Someone tell her that THAT one is called Chicken FLU… and somebody break her heart- tell her that im not down with a deadly, potentially fatal disease, but a perferctly normal, self-curing one !” :D :D)

ü Donot squirm your face in disgust even when the CP’s face resembles the pan in which you would make scrambled eggs! My own folks were Angelic when it came to this. They kept offering me real, affectionate hugs (when I was reduced to sooooooo un-huggably repulsive a creature, that even I would have recommended risking a tea-party with a crocodile, over bothering to move an inch towards me :()

I actually shut my eyes when I would have to visit the wash-basin for any purpose [the mirror-mirror-on-the-wall offered a sight that sent chilly shivers down my spine!]

ü If the CP asks you to STAY away to prevent infection, DO IT!!

Nothing like the guilt of having passed on the dreadful disease to your near and dear ones.

My Nanima- an old – very old and ill-in-health Lady, gave me hell when it came to this.

I literally had to DRIVE her out of my room, cry to get her off me- “checking my pulse” :O , or STOP her from rearranging all my totally infected stuff every morning!! I will never -in my wildest dreams- understand why she brushed aside my very logical and scientific explanation for my Seclusion from her, with such confidence and impudence. HOW?!

These grannies are a WEIRD lot!

DITTO for all my other folks, who were steadfastly by my side, DESPITE all my attempts at seclusion, rubbing in my “untouchable” status for the unvaccinated/ un- Chicken Poxe-ed souls.

Really, GOD FORBID, if one of them fell sick coz of me, I’ll drown myself in a bucketful of Chicken Pox Viruses!

Okay, I’m tired now. And sleepy. Relaxed- now that I've poured out all my Acid :P

Will go get some sleep :) Peace !!

Strange Minds, Stranger notions of Blissful moments *broadest grin*

My idea of Life at its best.. :)

Walking into a shop, with a verrry vague idea about what's wrong with ur life…

‘I keep losing my change; where do I keep these "visiting cards" ’..

...

Standing and staring at all the stuff in the shop, wide-eyed ... clue-less about what to do n how to do it ...

Until, someone picks a Wallet for you ...

someone else tells the shopkeeper that you would like to take that, but only at such-n-such price ...

... meanwhile, someone asks you to stop eyeing that absurd piece, which is def. not worth the price … your meek protests get brushed aside as background noise :-D …..

…someone somehow fixes u a bargain, and Lo! ... you walk out with a beautiful wallet, in which (u happily tell all these someones) "gee! .. i can now preserve all my change and all my 'visiting cards' ..."

….then, u demand to do certain things that you WANT to, against others’ strong protests that they are tired of the public embarrassment you earn them every time .. (often, with a rather defeated old-warning of ‘snapping all ties’ this time :P ) ..

…. You move on, shrugging them away, and going ahead with what you wanted to do …. Until they join you, quitting the pretense of “civilized conduct in public”;[ face it! – it WAS fun after all :-D .. the pix on that swing are invaluable!]

insisting on taking pictures of precious moments, with a famously terrible track record in photography …. Gleefully handing over their cameras – with nothing but memory blurs, unclicked photos, and the like [blaming it on the ultra-hi-tech-ta of the cams]….

Ignoring the watch, as seconds tick by … threatening to sound the knell-of-farewell any second now …

Hastily compressing all your stock-of-stories, and shooting a volley of anecdotes, that you oh-so-MUST-share (it’s a race against time!!) …

… somewhere, sighing inside (you know it’s beyond the farewell time..) .. and suddenly reciting one of your favourite Classic nursery rhymes …

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie,

Kissed the girls, and made them cry…

When the boys came out to play,

Georgie Porgie ran awayyy …

..before a ready audience .. that partly sings along, partly gives you that “uh-oh” look of fond-disapproval cum amusement .. and jointly reminisces over the story behind the bit of verse …

………..

*Bye Bye* …

*Awkward Hugs* …

*unvoiced grudges of SOME disappointed souls who had planned to binge on Golguppas again, together … :( but were rather insensitively let down*

*smiles that go home with you*

*at home, you proudly flaunt your meaningful shopping for the day, before anyone who would care to see ;) *

Some things are priceless …

Try meeting up with your old gangs …:D and rediscover yourself :)

Let me rephrase a famous saying …

“To meet and part, is the way of life,

And to part and meet, is the ray of life :) “

Thank you people! – it was a funday :D …

And all those silly geese who missed it [:( :(] … we missed you guyz!!

The Healing Power of Love .. *To You, Prof. Dumbledore :) *

*sniff sniff* *dry cough*

*sigh-cum-deep drawn sniff*

*gulp—eyes blink in pain, as my throat squirms in revolt*

*lifting each finger with effort, and mouthing a groan-y ‘hhmmm’ to di’s warning that I take care to not let her laptop slip down and shatter* (You see, I’m again holding it high in the air on my lap – it is perpendicularly suspended in mid air, supported precariously on a pair of sick and tired lower limbs, weak with fever – Cant sit up straight, m lying down supine ! – I employ this position often, but today it’s not a choice but a compulsion ..)

You know … *painful sniff again*

I am sick. And worse.. I’m down …not with the sweltering heat of Delhi … but with a Cold!

And I’m trying to figure out where I must have caught it.

Karishma blamed it on our frequent shifts between the AC-ed and Non- AC-ed environments .. no wonder so many people can be seen patting their throats and screwing their noses. This is in the air :( ..

I have strong reasons to believe that I picked it from a happy-go-lucky-go-publicly-coughy-merrily-throwing-cold-viruses-in-the-air co-intern, who insisted upon attending the office -with an EarNoseThroat fully choked with phlegm – every single day! … even though ordinarily he wouldn’t bat an eyelid when bunking office with such ah … CEO-like-elan coz ..and I quote“ this would show them how committed I am… “ :P

Yeah!

As if This place had not given me enough woes already – a (hitherto ) godforsaken project, a cup of Bad-tasting tea everyday .. for which (I recently discovered) they charge us right out of our stipend :P … A sorry sacrifice of whatever little dignity I had walked in with, at the altar of Some people’s Witticisms :( ..

And Now ! ..

The final straw that’s threatening to break the Camel’s back … a disgusting cold- rendering me physically incapable of free mobility, easy breathing, anything!! :(

In this state of half-trance (fever people! .. I have fever!! .. :( ) am almost filled with thoughts of vindictive pleasure *evil grin*

Let me be sick all the way up till Monday, and let me carry the germs back to their native place- My Office… Andddddddd let me gift these to all those whom I wanna get back at :D :D .. by means of unabashed open-mouth coughing and sneezing (yeahh .. could I be more of a blot on the name of my esteemed institute!)

But hang on *stressing her peanut-brain with all her might* … there IS nobody who has wronged me.. there :( … on the contrary … :)

*looks at the bottom left corner of the ms word screen, only to realize that she has been blabbering about stuff unrelated to the original intent of the post*

Okayy ,,, now m too tired … but wanted to say a LOT!! ..

Now, somehow, just cant!

Okay …. A few years ago, on this planet called Earth, another creature was born ..

They named her something nice. But she is my Fairy God –Mother, guised as a mortal elder sister.

I somehow don’t feel like profiling her on a public forum … somehow, I think any lay person laying eyes on her profile sketch would not do justice to the meaning that the words hold for me … and I don’t want to desecrate the divine phenomenon that I have here.. with me.. for me .. always …

Okayy .. I’m not even talking about the pristine soul that this one is …

But today, as I was purchasing something at a sabziwala’s cart on my way home (struggling to stand on my two feet … I am SUFFERING from fever remember*shoots a warning look if the reader had dared forget maintaining the understanding-sympathy look while reading this post*!!)

Well, suddenly .. I saw this really tiny girl … clad in modest clothing (the kind that wears off by extensive use, and is then passed on by the Indian Patron families to their domestic help et al) … this girl came out of nowhere, and broke down into really loud sobs, tears rolling down her already stained (with malnourishment and impoverishment ) face … I wondered what was wrong .. looking around curiously for maybe the Dad (at first, my hunch was that she was the sabziwale uncle’s daughter ) … well, he kept on loading and unloading sabzi nonchalantly, indifferently, as though the girl, her heart wrenching sobs, and bucketsload of tears did not even exist!

The little girl cried. Louder. Tears streaming down her face in spates! … And .. dunno what struck me inside.. I wanted to walk up to her, just hug her and ask her why she was crying… I tell you, it was so moving that had it been a more worth-her-space-on-this-earth creature in my place, they would have bought her a bar of Temptations to just stop her from crying.

She pressed herself against the door of a car … crying ..to no avail .. a few seconds later … she started mouthing (at the universe, I presume coz none of the bystanders had even noticed her presence, let alone be an audience to her sobs!) .. she mouthed “mummy..mummy” … helplessly ..

In a tone .. that yearns for clinging …

Clinging on to somebody or something , for help…. For support … for ..well … for just Being., for holding on.

I considered asking the sabziwale uncle as to who this kid belonged to .. and just then, my gaze fell upon another girl (bit taller than the little girl, lets call her ‘Chotu’ :) ) … looking at her from a distance ..

She stopped, she looked hesitantly, and then she looked away. Mouthing something to … I can only guess.. to the rest of her playmates .. signaling to resume their play anyway .. this disturbance notwithstanding.

Here is what I think must have transpired:

Chotu and her playmates must have quarreled (maybe they had an argument over whether she was “out” and was to play the “Denner” {err..pardon me, I was never sure how that word is spelt!} .. or maybe they were not including her in the game for some weird reason .. maybe coz she was the youngest of them all (didn’t they have a term for it .. kachchi goli I think :) ) … I dunno!! Cud be anything!!) … But here she was …feeling wronged, hurt, ignored and bruised … crying out for someone who would tell her comforting things that any kid her age would want to hear …

Ignore them. Didis are being mean. We wont talk to them. Come let us play something else.

Koi baat nahi, chalo abba kar lo. Vaapas game khelo.. Main dekhti hoon kaise Den dene ko kehte hain yeh log aapse.

Oh For chrissake!! Anything …

Or maybe she just needed a pair of warm secure arms to be taken into- away from the bad, mad world of her playmates. And wipe her tears on somebody’s safe shoulders. Bury her face into an adult’s tummy, hold on tight, and just sob her heart away.

And yet, there she stood. All alone. Forgotten. Crying her throat hoarse.

Eventually, she seemed to have run out of tears .. (shamelessly worthless as I am .. all this while, I just looked – from the tall girl, to Chotu to the sabziwale uncle .. wondering whether it would be ’okay’ if I just walked up to her and talked to her!)

I took my packet, and walked back home. And I had just rung the bell, and stepped inside my home that my sis’ sickly lovey-dovey welcome calls (like a cerelac baby had walked out of the can into her room :-x )reached my ears *indicative of a good day at work for her* … as usual, I cracked a ruthless joke about her routine annoying habit and her sanity levels , to M (our domestic help) .. and we both rolled up with sarcastic laughter.

I walked straight to my room until Nanima and di’s calls/queries became so intolerably unavoidable that I gathered all strength to register my attendance in their room. Well, there was an ulterior motive of course! I had to tell them how sick I felt. How I couldn’t walk a step without pain. How I was messed up from head to toe, and all this, after a hard day at WORK! (err… didn’t bother to mention that all I did today in college .. was engage in another chat-session/nonsense- repartee exchange with Mamata Ma’am and Devanshu under the pretext of working for the Live Project—doing just a little bit of real ‘work’ in between breaks!)

My face (automatically, I swear!!) rearranged itself into a look of utter pain and agony.

And I got what I had wanted. Impromptu .. Oooooohhs and aaaaaahhs … looks of pity, empathy, checking of pulse .. patting of the head … (“Shruti! .. ur running a temperature, beta !”) ..as I put up a mock-brave front. (I had even begun on a mature note- whispering to my sis abt the fever, so that nanima would not get worried!.. but Well.. Lady Pink Panther that she is .. how could it have missed her antenna-like ears.. and well I wasn’t really complaining in my heart of hearts – the more sympathy, the merrier I am! *disgusting I know! .. but then—u shud have known me better—this is the Real Me!!*)

Poor M flung into action ... with her milk and tea and whatnots ..

I sighed, simpered … and returned to my room .. and then yelled out to my sister something abt the “internet not working” .. satisfied myself with a .. “ohhh ..too bad” from her end .. and then, just lay there .. And waited for my sis to walk in …

Well… she has her magic wand .. and I make full use of it. All I have to do is cling on to her. Well, just her being around .. the safe knowledge that she knows how screwed up I am .. works magic.

I just have to pour it all out – not even in words.. she just understands .. lets me be sad, melancholic.

She has “it will all be alright, Shruti” written all over her face. *** see note at the end

Poor my folks.. have never gotten a positive/encouraging reply to any of their queries about “how was my day” .. abt watsup with my life in general. It is always cribbing. It is always the worst that I could list.

And if it weren’t for this ventilation..

But for these sounding boards -- I would have ceased to exist– ages ago.

Ditto all the others in my family, whom I turn to .. for just about everything.

Surely, the greatest gift God can give someone is a set of loved ones. Everything else comes and goes.

What would have I done I can’t imagine (and sheeeeeesh I don’t WANT to! ) if these people weren’t around! ..

One shudders to think of those unfortunate souls who lose all their loved ones in life … or those who never have any. Those who must “seek” love, security , trust, and mutual bonding.. get bruised, bleed, and bandage the wound themselves and move on … all by themselves.

Oh … I’m sure the little girl I saw had some family. But I am not sure whether she had the comfort of those arms, the snug hug.. the reassuring smile that says “ it will all be alright” … how many times do you see really poor kids wailing unclaimed around a pile of garbage, sometimes a 2 foot girl, holding a .5 foot bundle of a baby brother by her side .. and walking … barefooted .. to nowhere ..

The mothers may be anywhere .. maybe begging, or lying by the footpath, in a heap of desolate despair, weakened by hunger, exploitation and have-not-ism.- The Universal fact of Motherly instincts beaten down badly by animal instincts for energy and material/spiritual hope.

We just don’t realize just about HOW lucky we are .. and keep taking our loved ones for granted … Well, I think that’s fairly alright … that is what god made them for ! .. (as long as, u take care of the ROI factor--- it is all good :) ) …

I just wish she had a Fairy Godmother too .. our Chotu! I wish tonight someone put her down to sleep, with a kiss on the forehead, or in a tight embrace .. even if they were sleeping on a mat on a floor of concrete..

I just hope, Chotu .. like many lucky ones like us .. too has some loved one(s) … that she too has hope to fight all despair.

Professor Dumbledore had always been right about the Healing Power of Love.. how it can fight all Evil on earth. It can. Oh, it sooo can. If only, we would come to realize its potential power to spread happiness, peace and calm. Cheers, Dumbledore. Cheers, Jo.

Cheers …

*** Okay .. get real .. there is also this very mean, insensitive side to her! – like the n number of times she stealthily ate my share of Maggie, and unapologetically fought with me when I protested, when she locked me in the bathroom when I was a hapless little kid (err.. not really hapless tho – I had a good mind to bang the door down with loud wails, until I heard my mum’s voice and employed plan Two instead—of sitting sadly in the corner, to strike notes of sympathy, and win the game :D :D), the legendary war in which she tore off my favourite shirt, over “who-gets-the-remote-control” .., and gave me proper red scratches across my neck :O :O to my mum’s horror! .. Or when we punched each other in the face once (a real loose Tooth for a loose Tooth- and thankfully, since both lost milk teeth, we could keep the story under wraps, to be safe from parental wrath).. or when I was this one year old innocent (YEAH! I was THAT too, once upon a time :D) baby, and she would put me to sleep (by borrowing my milk bottle kinds from mum and feeding me forcefully) whenever some uncles and aunties came over and got chocolates for the “Two little daughters in the family. ..” and would feed on my share while I slept, and innocently awoke to absolutely NO recollection of the choc that I had earned a while ago! *gawwd… I’m kinda liking her less and less now .. as I recollect all this..*… Ohhh the list is endless!! :-x

Thanks Meet ... :) :) .. u are an Angel ..

I dunno whether I deserve such good wishes ... but i keep getting some odd once in a while ....
this was a pleasant surprise ... on such a lousy day ... and I didnt even know she would be thinking abt me n my problems ...

Meet ... Thanks! ... I hope I pull it off ... ur wishes may act like a good omen :) :::
Just for You, Shruti! ... I just dont care abt my job right now (okay, 'right now' is the key word :D) .. im really moved ...
and I love you .. and need I tell u that Ditto for u from my end, all that u hv offered me :D

CHEERS and GOD BLESS indeed! :D :D


PS. ppl, dont get scared by my blog posts ... m fine! ... live n kicking (being thick skinned helps!)

Ours is not to ask why, ours is but to do or die :D :)

Shruti

'Hows ur Internship coming along?" they all ask me ... here is how ...!

(this post is more like a mindless scribble... so pardon the lack of coherence, flow etc)
After 17 days of doing NOTHING, yesterday(Friday, 25th), I finally got to interview two people. I was ecstatic!
Even though I’m in very bad shape right now, considering that a LOT of time has been lost, at least, I got a start. I dunno why God had planned this for me though; he did not choose to throw me into a system (which I was apprehensive about disrupting anyway..) he chose to throw me into a system-less MESS, Where uncertainty, suspicion, confusion and hope are the order of the day. Well, it would have been interesting to observe and make notes of, if ONLY I had some kind of help … unfortunately, the department I am in has suffered the most, and I end up being an undesirable liability there.
As one senior 60-ish gentleman, (apparently miffed with the Kind Lady sparing two minutes to update me on the mess) thundered, “ arrre Madam, aap Summer Trainee ke saath kyun time waste kar rahi hain!... abhi hum ko koi trainee -vainee ka zaroorat nahii haaai … abhi pehle process ko streamline karne ka haai”
**note: Streamlining for Him begins and ends with: taking printouts- of anything and everything printable, printing a photocopy of the printout, making an entry in a register about the process, doing the needful with the information in the printout, then writing ‘done’ on the sheet, as well as on the register, then filing the sheet in the appropriate folder. Okay, no exaggeration this! .. this is like a remnant of the babu-culture that has probably worked in the past, but seriously .. this process applies to every little thing:: an email about updating xyz employee info in the SAP, and the first Action:: Printout le lo, madam! .. followed by the subsequent steps, till the very last.
As someone fondly (and irritably :P ) put “ Ohhh.. He lovvves paper. Give him paper- He will make more paper. Photocopy the paper. Photocopy the photocopy. And still complain that there is no paper!”
:D Well, even with all my frustration spiraling, it’s funny! And cute, I must say :)
Mind you, even I might have ended up as a printout, a photocopy and an entry in the register with “done” checked across my forehead, neatly filed in the cabinet… IF ONLY I had not been deemed so undesirable an object in the entire process of streamlining, and thus unworthy of being Filed at all, in his view :D
For the past few days, I was making merry at his workstation, since he was out on a tour .. now of course, he will be back, I won’t even get that square inch of space in the office .. hey, not that I mind! This position worked to my disadvantage in the past few days. While I sat there, undesirable, unoccupied, eyes hungry for attention, work (sometimes they ignore me, and change the topic hastily when I try to push in my “plans” for the project! :( coz the execution does not seem to be easy!) .. well, while I sat there, in order to make the most of my time, initially I would search as much as I cud, on all the stuff that could possible help me in my project (I googled up more than was desirable/worthwhile) .. and when I grew tired of that (in the vain hope that they will pay heed, in a while, any moment now .. in some more time ..) I excitedly started documenting my project plan .. I mean I merrily charted my own four-step plan of how I will go about doing it, and forwarded it to the appropriate quarters. It’s been days and days, and I know it lies unread!
Despite my frequent allusions to the plan in conversation, reminders of the mail… somehow, things never take off! I mean I never get a NO- but I never get anything! It is so very weird, that I don’t know what to do :( I just DON’T.
It all lies unread. And it hurts. More so, coz I really don’t see who is to be blamed. If I am not having an easy time, others around me aren’t exactly walking on a bed of roses, either.
*sigh* the state of affairs is such, that I can’t entirely blame them- the office people.
I really should not be working. Not with people, at least. And certainly not in jobs like these.
Maybe I should reconsider my plans of becoming a stand-up comedienne (*sigh* this was ages ago… and Arps was the one who had suggested this to me ..) , or maybe .. I dunno .. what kind of job will not require working with people/getting work out of them? ..
Errrm..
A stand up comedienne.
A newspaper hawker.
I dunno..some more, on similar lines! *sigh of resignation*
If the creator created me, surely he had a plan in mind? But why is he hiding it up his sleeve?
Such lowly sadistic pleasure, God.. must say … I’m not too happy with your way of working *pouts*
Gawwwd !! … anyway ..
So, while I sat before the desktop, trying to appear as occupied as one totally unoccupied person could possibly look, documenting plans that no one ever had the intention of reading … and then.. once I saw that no one really cared … checking mails, reading blogs .. and it was a mark of how frustrated I was .. for the first time ever, I had the option of gtalking, but I never logged in:: cud have orkutted all I wanted .. but never once felt like it.. checked mails, only in the vain hope that somebody from the head office would check on me.. or maybe ..maybe.. some answers will show up!
I even started clicking on mails forwarded by my aunt (from the Sai Foundation) .. !!
With due love and respect to Baba, I had never really bothered with these earlier .. but now I would actually read his messages on love, peace, patience, brotherhood etc etc just to keep myself sane.
Even blogging had lost its charm. Certainly, these things can never give pleasure ..when these are adulterating your work hours. Somehow, reading Godly stuff seemed like less of cheating on work, than reading anything else!
Well, the bottomline is … I would be seen at the workstation, and was ignorant of how to, the 3 new summer interns at the place, it appeared that I was in full gear with my project. Apparently, many intro lectures were held by important people in the organization for these people, and I was not disturbed.. coz everybody assumed that I was full-on into the process!! :( :(
And it was only when after hours of heightened nothingness, boredom and frustration upon being religiously ignored reached its peak, that I walked into the conference room, to check on one of the interns, who seemed to be busy with reading some stuff, to pour my heart out before a fellow sufferer.
Poor thing had suffered the same fate as I had, for the first 10 days (in his region of posting, he was not even let beyond the gate- since the concerned person was not available *ditto my story!* at least I had reached the conference room next to the reception!! Although I did nothing but stare at the walls for hours every day) … But, things are good for him now-the project guide is excellent , and the project is rolling. Amen. I don’t want to cast an evil eye though!
Well anyway, it was only during this enlightening (and very cathartic :) ) interaction that I realized the myth surrounding me and my project, which had further kept me in the dark and put me at a disadvantage.
To cut a long story short (Aaaahh Arps… this one is also a Kodak moment, worthy of a mental picture :D)
After attending a major company function (the first activity at my end, since the day of joining! ) and making very public remarks, jokes etc in exasperation, about the dismal state of my project, I got my first two one-on-one interactions yesterday. And I am grateful :)
Better late than never :D
(will you beat this, one of the uncles even asked me for an ‘office party’ .. heaven knows on what grounds .. I replied that I would definitely throw a grand party the day my project would finally be completed- IF at all. To which he responded with “arrre … you throw us a party, and ur project will be done in no time” :O :O)

Okay, I had fallen asleep last morning (yes, around 7-ish in the morning!) typing this post, and am writing this again after 12 + hours . Had an exceelllllllllent day :D
Had a huge cribbing session {all stories retold as comedy-in-tragedy} with my favourite cribbing audience:: My Family (extended family that is :D)
And as usual, have come home more cheerful and hopeful in heart, and armed with more tips on what to do with my godforsaken life :P
One of my fav. Lowly Moments today::
IB Uncle (look of concern):: Cheer up, Shruti. Poor thing, look how tense she is, about her project!
HB(rolling eyes, with an evil glint):: That’s becoz she loves being tense. When it was not her Project, it was an assignment, or her MBA or her Exams .. ‘Tense’ is her keyword.
So what Tense are you Shruti?*at his lowest best* Past Tense, Present tense or Future tense?
Me (Matching the low standards of the discourse)*with a sigh*:: I guess in the near future, I will be Past Tense
(Collective Sigh suppressed under laughter :( )

Before signing off, I just want to register something: My internship etc apart, I have come to know a very clean soul in this place (My new Guide kinds...) She belongs to a rare breed- a rare combo of intelligence, simplicity, humility and a good heart, - especially in the corporate world. People tell her she won’t survive long this way- sans airs or diplomacy :P … even I wonder how she did survive so long :D … here’s wishing her all the very best in life :)

************Long, strange break of many many phone calls *gulp*

okay, al post this now ... got work to do as well!!
Best …
Shruti