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Summer Internship::

Project guide Quit job! Even before we got a chance to meet (See, I told you- I can have disastrously damaging effects, without having to put in much effort. My mere presence/existence does the trick.)

15 days of pure waste. That’s what it all boils down to. Not surprising.

Let’s see what tomorrow has in store for me.

Disappointment:: More People Letting Down

Political correctness. Inertia. Indifference. Sadistic pleasure. Voyeurism. Cynicism.

Helplessness. Confusion. Moral/ Emotional dilemma.

These are some of the things one gets to see all around—writ large on people’s faces.

Sometimes, it evokes pity. Sometimes anger/ frustration/ hurt. Sometimes, questions.

And finally, one draws a blank.

Okay, no big deal. 21 years should teach one what to expect from life.. from people.

There is right, and there is wrong, and there is rightly wrong, and wrongly right.

There is My Right, Their Wrong (rarely, do people have it the other way)

Quoting Detective Riordan from The Genesis Code, ‘it all boils down to a big -So What?!’

Basicalllyyy …

This is not Food For Thought, but really, food for food-poisoning.

Unsettling revelations again

Well, not exactly ‘revelations’ but .. well, the same story retold from another perspective.

And somehow, leaving a bad taste in the mouth.

And well, I would like to leave a message here for anyone who has ever attached themselves to anyone, to the point of an inexplicable feeling of (emotional) loyalty towards them.

Maybe sometimes, it is OK to do a re-think, and ask yourselves a few questions:

Do They deserve it?

Do they deserve it from You?

Would you expect the same from them?

What if they didn’t meet your expectations? Would you be hurt? Does it matter to you?

Does it matter enough for you to do a re-think on the attachment and loyalty?

For your own sake?

Is the ROI on this person enough to make you stay invested?

Andd… does your Investment in person A (a part of your ROI to them) cut unfairly into the ROI that you owe to person B?

(Please note that all these calculations are based on a natural presumption that all deals are based on fairness, honesty, transparency and justice)

*** see note at bottom

(Arps, that would be Return on Investment; Investment of your loyalty and attachment, now the returns may not have to be in similar terms- could be anything- learning, social security{if not emotional}, justice, etc )

So, if the ROI does not seem much, I would say, re-think as to whether you want to stay invested. Not ‘staying invested’ does not mean harbouring ill-will towards anybody, or giving a raw-deal. Be fair and just in all your dealings. And be fair to yourself. This analysis will help in many cases:

· You could be making forced (unsolicited or uninvited)-investments where you are not desired/appreciated, (and then when you dont get commensurate returns, you will find yourself complaining- when the other party never desired a deal in the first place!)

Hence, you are being unfair to them, and hurting yourself unnecessarily.

· You could be making investments-on-solicitation i.e, where you have been indicated that your investment is eagerly sought, and desired and valued. And the ROIs could be low—maybe the other party does not care about it being a fairly equal deal. Your investment could be exploited for personal gains, with no intentions of reciprocal returns. You are harming yourself, and you have yourself to blame.

One would do well to remember (however crude it may sound..) that there is no such thing as “charity”, there is NO “free lunch”. Of course, this is a fact well-known to all, but acknowledged by very few. Now, before people jump to listing illustrations of unselfish acts and behavior, when I say, ‘free lunch’, it’s not just the tangible returns I refer to ..

There can be intangible, fair returns .. such as loyalty, moral and emotional support, kind-intentions, good-wishes, kind thoughts, timely help in times of need, among the other obvious ones.

Even Mother Teresa (a great, divine soul perhaps by all standards) was driven by fulfillment of needs of the Self. She derived maximum pleasure out of alleviating pain and loving the socially ostracized and abandoned, rather than .. say, she would have, if she were working as the Political Leader of a state struck by anarchy, and in dire need of an able leader who would lead them out of mess. Well, that would be a great social contribution too-for the good of others, to administer well, and run a state, manage the economy, politics etc such that people are well-fed and watered and clothed.

However, she adopted the other way. Coz that was what came naturally to her. What we choose to do in life is ideally, always something that matches that which gives us maximum happiness, n a feeling of achievement and self-fulfilment, with our physical and mental abilities.

In my opinion then, it makes little sense to hide behind the protection of abstract notions like “charity” , “self-less work for the larger cause of others” etc .. which really do not have any basis in reality, and then struggle with the complications and moral dilemmas that they throw at you.

And for the record, it would be a good idea to confess to ourselves that no rational order would equal “morality” with “self-less charity”

Why punish yourself for liking something well within your legitimate means, by way of earning the fruit (without unfairly eating into someone else’s share), and then giving it away, or giving it up – just coz For Some Reason THEY say It would Be the More Proper thing to do , even though it sooo does not feel like that, right now.

Basically, the idea was to convey that one must not fool oneself and others into believing that one’s loyalty, attachment etc for anybody is NOT an investment, with an eye on returns. Although the calculation is done implicitly, and subconsciously, and naturally, the point is that the ROI IS an important factor.

Why it becomes extremely important to recognize this, is that the lack of such honesty about the dynamics of human relationships leads to confusion, guilt, deception and unfair dealings, Truly IMMORAL and UNETHICAL behaviour (as people struggle between the innate, natural desire for fulfillment of self-interests, and the external dictum of how fulfillment of self-interest is bad, low-rated and socially undesirable/unacceptable.)

The fight between the internal Truth and the External Untruth/Lie results in manipulation, so that one can appear to adhere to the Socially acceptable External Untruth, while in reality fulfilling his/her own strong, internal, actual truthful desires (doing this in contradiction of the former of course!)

Half the problems that we see around us, with people – the disappointments, lies, deception, political scheming, plotting etc all stem from this lack of honestly to our own-selves (which naturally leads to dishonestly towards others)

*** I’m throwing these questions at the universe .. Okay, for the record, this outburst certainly has no connection whatsoever to my personal, first-hand experience.. it is an observation. And I wanted to note it down for the benefit of any soul, who might need to look at things this way.

And those who don’t understand what this means, now… well, it’s contextual, maybe one day when you experience it yourself, you will come back to this post .. and wish that you had understood the word of caution put up in this space :D

I was taken aback by something that transpired today. And wondered about the ignorance in which people live each day. About the Investments they make, and the ROIs which they take for granted! This is all I can do at my end. Let out a clue. God and good judgment should do the rest!

It’s nice to be nice.

It’s nicer to be nice to all by default- without prejudices or malice.

And It’s nicest to begin by being nice to yourself!

Remember the morning prayer at School..

Humko man ki shakti dena,

Man vijay karein,

Doosron ki jay se pehle,

Khud ko jay karein

Let us locate the temple of God within ourselves. This way, it will also ensure Good and clean acts and behavior from our end.

I am sacred. I am not to be defiled.

I am holy. I would never defile the sanctity of another.

Win-win situation for all!

Signing off …

*Shruti ... Calm ... Self! ...*

Oh Gawwwdd …. My fingers shake as I type … but I dunno what else to do … im trying chocolate therapy alongside … but I guess it will take time, to show the soothing effect!!

*takes deep breaths*

*counts till ten*

One

…

Two

…

Three

….

Four

…..

Five

…..

Six

….

Seven

…

Eight

….

Nine

…..

Ten

Oh gawd … I did that on purpose … typing mindlessly is also cathartic …

But ..not helping much…

N m drinking pepsi too …

Not helping…

Okay … al keep talking…. Until it subsides …

Gawwddd… my fingers still shake, and its fury .. of the highest order …

On the injustice of it all …

On the farce of it all …

Oh …

IT barks, but deep down… IT’s nice ..

Oh…

IT bites, but deep down …. IT’s nice…

Oh, it hurts, but deep down ….IT’s nice …

Oh..

It kills, but deep down ….. It’s nice …

So all u have to do … is keep digging through the black hole, in the hope , that one day u will discover what that “nice” is …

Coz ideally, normally, all the above activities wud not exactly qualify one to be called NICE …

Oh…

What IT does actually,

Is to beat its chest on a rooftop, every morning .. about being NICE –a convenient self-defined abstraction –

Then do everything throughout the day, that wud point otherwise …

And then … as a safety option … doles out ALMS to ITs fellow beings (Oh doles those out with both hands… asked for or not!! ) … to gain a psychological advantage ….

And then, do everything … so that all facts laid out … at the end of everything… people have to say,

Oh .. deeeeeeeeeep deeeeeeeep down … IT’s still nice ….

NICE- another word I hate with all my might!

I cud sit peacefully. I’m out of the mess (God is kind!) …

If only Human Rights Violation … n the sheer injustice of it all … *ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

And I tried hunting for episodes of Diff’rent Strokes on the net, to kick in the normalization effect .. to soothe nerves down … and guess what!! … they have taken’em all off youtube!!

*groans…painfully*

What am I to do?

Except Blog …

Arps’ net connection sucks … Meet is not online at this hour ..

dunno when either will login ..

And I don’t have Arnold to bring a smile on my face …

(m buffering an episode of FRIENDS now …)

Hope it helps …

God, I offer a prayer …

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S break**

Heyy … just watched a Joey-video :D

Lolz! I love him …. (im kinda smiling :) ) :::

Joey: Hey Ross. If homo sapiens were in fact “HOMO sapiens”, could that be why they’re extinct?
Ross: Joey, homo sapiens are people.
Joey: Hey! I’m not judging here.

…..

Al just end with lines from the Gita , (wistfully) … although it has no direct relevance!! ..

Yada yada hi dharmasya, glanirbhavti bharata ..

Abhyutthanam adharmasya, tadatmanam srijyamaham

Can’t speak much now …

Later …

PS. It is my earnest request that I don’t get comments on this particular post. No questions asked.

Peace!

Thanks.

The Demented Dementor Strikes again...

*And the Muggles watch, in
helpless silence/ or sadistic pleasure?*

O Demented Dementor,

Demented you’ll always be ..

Fly away to Azkaban,

And let our souls FREE :(

Tired of your Howlers,

Which you oh-so-louuvv to send!

Self-proclaimed Messiah,

You are but one FIEND..

I would have called it Pity,

This sentiment I feel,

Had it not been so strong,

To crush you under a Wheel ..!

Did you have a bad childhood?

And has it damaged your brain?

Err.. well I would have felt Sorry,

If you weren’t so brutally vain…

You know what, O Demented One,

*Sigh* you are a You-Know-Who,

Within your ten feet, would come no one,

Lest you should bite, or scratch or BOO!! :(

And they would all rather suffer in silence,

While you trample them, with delight

Sheer cowardice, or criminal inertia?

For the victims refuse to Fight..

Oh there are Ludo Bagmans,

And Lockharts, and Barty Crouch…

And there are Demented Dementors,

Who under White Cloaks crouch!!

At least Ludo, Barty or even Snape !

Would steer clear of our way..

We don’t like the sight of them,

And the same they’d have to say!!

But You, Oh Demented Dementor!!

You wouldn’t rest in peace,

Unless you hound each one of us,

And our happiness fleece!

Pathetic aren’t you, with a mouth so foul,

That’s spared no single soul,

And yet, you seek overt-camaraderie,

Beats me what is your Goal!!

Where do you fetch such verbal muck?

The Municipality Dump? I wonder..

Too bad, they let you loose from there,

To strut, to insanely thunder…

I pray for your current victim,

for none would be by their side,

People’s conscience is perhaps dead,

They’re all busy being nice and snide.

I cringe at your uncouth ways,

I cringe at those who refuse to speak!

Are they being innocent fools?

Or clever politicos guised as Meek!

Go away to Azkaban,

Though St. Mungo’s would also do,

But no! there you’d feed on innocent souls,

At least the Deatheaters Deserve you!! :( :(

-The-solitary-member-of-the-Order-of-the-Phoenix

*Arps, Meet ..sic sic .. sshhhhhhh ... YOU-KNOW-WHO right ;) .. will give u the exact updates in person * ..... PS. recall the outstanding traits of DD, and appreciate the analogy with Howlers :D

The Mixed Bag : Of Goa, Ethics and MTNL !!

*posted next afternoon*

Okay.. so, the other day, this discussion on ‘Ethics’ came up yet again, on someone’s blog. And I tried to put in words (though as a very crude attempt) some earnest thoughts. And then I recalled this reply-comment I had written for a previous post on this blog. It was a verse on a related issue. Well, it was an allegorical verse (A real-life story retold through the means of parallel characters- not necessarily human/animate beings. Boy! I love doing these things- helps me vent emotions without adopting the ugly-banging-head-on-the-wall course of action :D, which more often than not, yields no fruitful results!)

Here is what I had written:

I have just come to despise certain words lately, "morals" and "ethics" being some of them ..
it's weird how pure logic is often touted as something so high-n-mighty.. and has become almost a FAD .. u know .. the "in thing" ..
2+2=4, n not 5, 6 or 7! .. stating this very obvious in public has become a virtue of sorts ..
and thus, statement of logical facts has become a rare phenomenon in itself .. we conveniently sanctify this exercise.. and then wash our hands off it by running away with the excuse of being mere mortals ..with not a hint of divinity!..
The White Flower here, is an allegorical depiction of those who can manipulate this weakness in the masses at large, to their advantage .. u know, grabbing the Halo by calling 2+2=4 when they so wish, and making the same 5, 6 or 3 when it suits their convenience, coz they think they can always turn around and tell the non-haloed beings, ‘at least I got it right last time’ ...
What is simple logic, becomes simple politics..
The answer '4' is no more the relevant .. it is the process of addition in which lies the catch..!

And this comment on this other blog I was talking about:

I think the word “Ethics” lends itself to convenient manipulation coz of its relative nature. Seriously, we shud replace it with the concept of Cold Logic, for all purposes- practical, and for public discourse. The problem arises when we attach the avoidable baggage of morality to the simple logic of
"As u sow, so you reap".

Sigh. This is what happens when you lose the context of things! ..

I don’t expect any reader to understand much of this, coz it has not been very well articulated. Maybe, some other time. ...

MTNL is playing truant!! I H-A-T-E it … positively hate it … with every iota of HATE I can muster. Somehow, it shows “connected” status, but internet remains inaccessible. And this silly goose of Internet Service Provider wont relent :( I have to do an entire report for my new “work place” .. and having been occupied (for a change, PRODUCTIVELY) with other things, I could not sit for this before today, and Lo! The MTNL is busy acting up :-x

(Honestly, the sheer volume (and quality) of curses that me and my sis have hurled at them in frustration, gets me worried about its fate! )

So, here I sit, hoping against hope that mayyyybe it will connect in a while (er.. though it hasn’t behaved in the past 10 hours :( : ( )

Oh by the way! I got to know something very interesting the other day. One of my seniors has secured a job posting in Goa! .. I mean wow!! .. Of all places you can associate with work- that should certainly rank somewhere at the bottom. And yet, it never occurred to me.. of course, you do have normal people there, working in offices, toiling day in, and day out… doing all the mundane work that unfortunate beings like us living in non-holiday spots do. I mean of course, you DO need things other than music, party, beaches, cruises, or even dope et al. for that matter, to run a city. D’oh!!

At first, it seemed too good to be true :D :D … Goa!! .. The minute I discovered this, an image popped up in my mind (and yeah, ludicrous image I agree) – I immediately visualized him in THAT holiday Hat, and all the other Beach-gear.. sipping off a drink (I also wondered aloud as to whether we could now expect to see him next in those loud Beachy, Flowery T-shirts :P but apparently, he is okay without those!)

And yet, Goa is Goa. It’s a place full of life and energy, a zest for life, and a life full of gay abandon! Or at least, that is what I remember of that city, which has a very different flavor of its own. It can’t be just the Portugal touch. Nope, it’s more. The ethos of the city I guess – a certain quality is exuded by just about everything and everyone, that is so very umm.. Goan, there is no other word for it! And it’s not just the beaches. It’s more :)

Now, there is a very fond memory of that place, that still brings a smile to my face(As do all RKK-memories :) ). We were on this cruise in Goa (I think it was called ‘Maria’ ..) *on this 8 day Bombay-to-Goa Trip organized by the School. This was when I was in class Eight, yeahh.. *

Well, it was one of the most beautiful evenings we spent there. The Cruise. Must be around 40 of my batchmates, and 40-ish seniors. Like I said, the spirit of Goa is contagious, and in places and occasions like the cruise mentioned above, with a wonderful blend of music and frolic, you have a certain magic in the air :) *reminisces fondly*

It wasn’t loud- the gathering. People weren’t stepping on each other, screaming each other down (Oh, that’s another legitimate way of indulging in gay abandon after a hard day’s work :) of course)

It was one of those elegant kinds of gathering. Where one swayed to the music, or just stepped back and quietly watched with amused satisfaction and pleasure, the ambience, and the people- all gathered to take some fun “time out” and to share the spirit with all others in the place- known and unknown.

Oh I recall this guy who was performing – I think he sang mostly all of Lucky Ali songs, and Boy! He could have given him stiff competition- the voice was too good. (u know… when I was younger, I was never as tone-deaf, as I eventually grew up to be :P .. although was never a music freak, let alone a connoisseur… but yeah I can tell a good set of vocal chords at work, anyday!)

Well, The music was awesome, and the singer was awesome too. (I dunno if this was a co-incidence, but he had the same (or greatly similar) physical appearance as Lucky Ali *hehe.. although, he might have done better with the resemblance having stopped at the voice bit ;) *) We were seated among the audience for quite some time (well…loads of things there as well, but the memory’s hazy)

There were people dancing on the floor before us, as the guy sang and music played. And I recall all of us itching to take over the dance floor. (Gosh, we were a fun batch! .. u cud play any music at any hour of the day, at any place .. u name it, and it would come alive as a dance floor :) ).. Unfortunately, we weren’t alone on the cruise, the crowd was well… a Crowd- which is always a mixed bag of the decent and the not-so-decent strangers. And footloose as we were, we were also quite sensible, in a way *sighs with fond pride* So we did not, of course, step onto the dance floor (though I seriously remember having contemplated throwing off the junta who had occupied the floor for so long, into the surrounding water. We were even wondering as to how much booking the entire cruise just for our lot, would have cost. Errm.. yeah, there were times when I was too big for my shoes, with my imagination :P) Well, we sat there, after sometime, beginning to crib inwardly, yearning to flex our muscles, to get up and get started! Good sense, and faith in god stopped us from taking any step which might only have spoilt the otherwise fun trip. And so we sat, bidding our time…

Meanwhile, I recall this episode with Nidhi J. :D … well, it’s a legend close to everyone’s heart. For firsts, she was one person who had fully internalised Goa – with all those flowery beachy shirts, and very Goan sunglasses. Well, she was also the ‘Ms. twinkling toes’ of our group, and the denial of the opportunity to dance on such an opportune moment and platform.. if it was bothering the rest of us, I’m sure it must have been annoying her no end. She sat there, imapatiently, irritably. And Nidhi-ly.

So when this Aunty turned around, sweetly and asked her in a very conversational manner, “So, where are you all coming from?” (errmm..we were a pretty large and notice-able group u see :D) ..

To our shock, and disbelief, Nidhi turned around and snapped back at the Aunty :

I’m sorry Aunty. We are not supposed to talk to strangers. *Cold look*

Aunty *struggling to overcome the initial shock of this sudden, uninvited rudeness. And especially hurtful, I assume coz she had picked on this girl who sooo looked like an Official-member-of-the-Goan-Clan*

‘oh..kay’ *turns around in her seat, face red with shock and anger*

Well, the music ended. And there was applause.

And hear, hear!!.... the Emcee whoever..now goes .. ‘I notice that these young ladies seated out there *pointing in our direction* have not joined us in the dance. And they don’t look too happy about it.

I would now request them to come on the dance floor while I perform special songs for them. And all the others, please stay out for now, and let them have the floor to themselves. ‘

*yayayay!! – we could have hugged Lucky Ali-Part Two :D :D*

Meanwhile, Ms. J was busy gushing/blushing etc etc about a character apparently .. somewhere in the crowd. Perhaps, others were too. Me and DJ sat at one extreme corner of the row (I was closest to the water!! :) ) and DJ just filled me in about this gushing business in a passing manner. Okay. So nothing new about that. And not a new story coming from our Ms. J either :D

So, anyhow, we danced to the wonderful, soulful music (Hail Lucky Ali- part two, wherever you are), but sadly, like all good things that come to an end, this one did too. (And it ended with an applause from the audience *grinning sheepishly* -- ohh, even Aunty must have been back to her jovial self!)

Err… now our lucky Ali did something that made him lose points by the way.

He asked us pleasantly ‘That was a good show. you guys must be from Delhi? ‘

We corrected him. “Nope. We’re from Jodhpur-‘

*frown* .. “Wha- where’s that ??”

Okayy.. Fair Enough! Jodhpur was no more than a spec on the map of India. Salman Khan’s Black-Bucks-hunting case had recently hogged limelight though, and had helped put the city on the map a bit…yet, it was pardonable ignorance.

We smiled. “It’s a place in Rajashtan”

And err..

*Frown again* “Annd.. where’s that??” !!!!

However, this was unpardonable ignorance. And we politely walked off the stage, I personally having let Lucky Ali Part two slide several notches down on my opinion-ometer ;)

But maybe I shouldn’t underestimate Goans’ general awareness coz of this one-odd instance. Imagine what would happen if people were to estimate the quality of students of my institute based on a one-odd interaction with me *gulp*

IMI would then be recognized as a place breeding MBA-Bashers-yet-MBA-doers, who donot even know the period in time-scale when Emperor Akbar reigned in the region *wink, wink,… that’s another story*

Anyhow, so now the floor was open to all, and the evening was about to reach a closure. This was to be the valedictory dance, if such a thing exists.

The dance ended, on a spirited note. But waitaminnit! To Nidhi’s amazement, the object of gushing/flushing was now dancing with Aunty (her best guess was that he was her son!) .. and merrily so!

And when the music ended, the pair came back (this time, Aunty calls out to the Character – “Rahul beta … “ – Yep. That was the name. How very aptly filmy.).. and Nidhi, having realized her stupid, criminal mistake, regained her senses (and also reclaimed the DROPPED jaw :D) .. (while the rest of us rolled up with suppressed and not very suppressed laughter)

And now, this was classic … (sinking to her lowest best :P)

The minute aunty returned to her seat in front of Nidhi,

She squeaked, sweetly and meekly ..

“errm.. Excuse me Aunty… “

Aunty turned around *taken aback- shock written all over her face*

*others- watching from a distance, and savouring the fun*

Nidhi squeaked, with all her polite dignity:

“I’m really sorry about my behavior. Actually, we are strictly forbidden to mingle with others…School Rules ..” she mumbled in a feeble attempt to undo the damage.

I dunno what happened after that.. whether Aunty softened. Or did not. Well, either ways, the entire story ended there. What else did she expect, anyway :P

Anyhow… I rem. We came back to the resort, and this story (which spread like wildfire within minutes ) had us in splits (to Nidhi’s chagrin ;)) the entire night (which, by the way, comprised of an again very Goan dinner, followed by a bon fire)..

Hey… which was the night when DJ and I had played chess with Sangita ma’am, in her room (oh god, she was so much fun, she danced all over the room with the two little kids that we were, and then She and another one role played a customer and a bar tender, to our amusement :) )

Oooh of course, this was way back. I distinctly recall that we had Seema Ma’am and Sanjay sir on this particular trip…. Oh gawd… I can just go on n on .. documenting random memories …

And Guess what!! All this while, the internet has not connected !!

*damn you MTNL, BURN IN HELL :-X *

But hey, all said and done, Would I really like to spend a few years of my life working in Goa??

Maybe. Maybe not.

Alright then, more later :D

Cheers and God bless ..

Ciao

Of Testimonials - I Hereby Delclare ....

I feel rather strongly about this issue, of course as I have Discussed earlier. (okay… maybe ‘monologued’ is the word I am looking for.. coz obviously, no one must have read that particular post – sans any spice or humour :D .. orr even for the lack of good food-for-thought therein)

But yeah, I do feel strongly about vouching for someone. And vouching for X,Y,Z qualities possessed by someone. No doubt, every one of us is unique, and possesses certain strengths, distinguishing personality traits that define us, and define us in a most beautiful manner.

It makes a whole lot of sense for us to appreciate the good in everyone we know. And it is definitely advisable to look out for the positives in every person, and acknowledge the same. This not only helps in reinforcement of desirable behaviours, traits but also helps us in developing a positive approach towards people, and encourages honesty and fairness in our dealings with them.

BUT to use, with casual indifference, blanket concepts in every other soul that you know, seems ridiculous. Not only does it dilute the potential utility of the tool (as a feedback mechanism, and as a source of reference for others), but it also dilutes the meaning and utility of words.

Subjectivity, and other influences such as social obligations, emotional sways etc are but natural. But tempering our testimonial with caution in this regard is certainly not a bad idea.

Anyyywayyyyyyyyyyyyyy ……

Who cares … I know anybody who’s checked in here, by mistake, does NOT. ..

Well, well, the main purpose of this post :D ..

In my previous blog, I had started the tradition of documenting all the testis that I have written .. coz they are nothing but character sketches of people I know … (esp: close to my heart, are the ones that DID come from the heart :) … without any external influence *ahem ahem* there I go again ) …

Well, There are three character sketches that I wrote recently, and that I certainly wish to document.

More so, coz two of these are stories, and weird ones at that … :D and shall always remain close to my heart …

Deepak … SIR ..

(In a bid 2 allay fears/anxiety amg juniors, aftr a rather intimidating placecom intro-speech by anotha SPC member) *a low decibel, seemingly innocuous voice spoke* “But, The placecom is very interesting. It’s not at all boring. It is quite fun. Not very boring. Not too difficult. It is very interesting--- “ n on n on n on
*basically, d SAME idea conveyed in 20 different yawn-inspiring ways *
At 1st glance, he came acros as sm1 upon whose innocent, tired shoulders the entire IMI Building stood, rather mercilessly- what with tht deceptively innocent ’hardworker- good guy’ expression pasted on his public face, which wud make any unsuspecting bystander go “ooooh.. god bless the poor soul, give

him some rest!!’ Somehow, he became an obvious target for my unclassy brand of humour. A FEW PJs in the same vein as above (with sum mimicry thrown in ) was ALL it took to spread the *inside * joke like wildfire … dun want to dwell 2 much on the mortifying (4 me) tale dat followed!

Here is the person I’m testifying for- something which he least requires (esp: 4m an utterly underqualified, lesser-mortal like me)- but something that his subtle n grossly underplayed Grandeur compels me to do!
DA (read: Devil’s Advocate- part two) in a nutshell: King of Biting Wit/Sarcasm, delivered in his inimitable soft yet precise manner (‘Kaat ke kat lete hain’), alwayyys calls a spade a spade (tho in words as sharp as a sweet little blade )-wont spare own kith n kin in this regard; extremely clear-headed, self-assured, honest, enterprising, Hard(LY?? )-working , a keen observer,objective in analysis of ppl/situations , rational , intelligent & Articulate (it’s been a pleasure to explore n create all kinds of theories with u ) ,full of wisdom-one pearl of wisdom that he dropped in a passing manner, n which I shall always preserve - “Just control your life, before it starts controlling you”..

anothr amusing soundbyte is his take on (Constructive) Politics- d cause of wich, he claims 2 champion(along wit his er.. Partner-in-crime );a natural leader, his excellent sense of humor coupled wit an acute sense of people-dynamics make him an unconventionally ideal HR person .. tho b warned, this mite not be vry apparent at 1st, 4 sum strange reason!
I hvn’t known him much- bt cn firmly stand by each adjctive dats listed up ther
Btw: I hope, 4 a CHANGE, what I’ve written makes sense 2 u .. cudnt hv been more explicit
In fact, I wudnt hv DARED 2 rite testis 4 Raghav Sir and Deepak .. err (adds as an afterthot ) SIR , 4 the sheer magnitude of their personalities, wich makes many mortals’ pale in comparison- if dis hadn’t been d only way of expressing my heartfelt gratitude-cum-apology and great regard for them (n their grace n kindness), as we bid adieu...
I realy hope that v live up 2(or go beyond) the standards that your batch has set before us,
Cheers n God Bless , Shruti

Raghav SIR. (period)

You know.. sometimes wen u do sumthing utterly stupid n embarrassing..n wish that u cud dig a hole(even better- a GRAVE) n crawl into it? Or tht u cud jus becum invisible 4 a moment? or run as fast as u can, in the opposite direction?
Well, I hv been thru all tht ..n more, everytime I ran into him in the past 1 year at IMI !...
I cringe in embarrassment to think of the 1st thing I uttered when I 1st saw him (in the Lean Mean “Ragger” Avtar- eyes looking daggers at the hapless freshers, shooting a volley of answer-less questions, with d typical anti-social look-(must mention the Gold Chain) - to boot ) ^uh-oh.. I actually hv d guts 2 redo the verbal version of the PERFORMANCE ^) .. I’d squeaked- in a nervous ‘I’ll-be-his-next-victim’ tone:
“Such people shouldn’t be allowed here!!” *CAN U BEAT THAT*

Wel, RELIABLE sources leaked out stuf like dis 2 him, n I shudder to think of dose summons tht followed “wat traits in me remind u of a GUNDA?” he calmly, kindly, asked me many a time, wit amused curiosity
Now do u understand the 1st three lines of the testi?!
* I wished to drown to death everytime…out of embarrassment! *
And in the months dat followed v got 2 c the other side of Him: his towering persona, his inimitable, disarming demeanour/signature style (he actually stopped to greet me everytime- just to beat the FEAR out of me- when he cud hv easily, in 1 stroke beaten life out of me ) ; his inherent, natural flair for people- acute understanding of people issues (n Politics); effortless leadership, methodical approach to everything .. a hard taskmaster -his passion 4 every task dat he undertakes is awe-inspiring, n yeah the surprise element – his appreciation (& flair)4 poetry …

Sumhow, I still fumble wit words in His Majestic presence- evry time I open my mouth (mostly in reply-wen I hv no option BUT to speak up) the thot dat crosses my mind is: “this is stupid, stupid…plzz stop talking, shruti!”
I hvnt known him much, but owed him an explanation of whatever l’ve ever learnt abt him from a VERY RESPECTFUL & SAFE DISTANCE .. altho, me riting a testi 4 him is like Chota mooh, badi baat And really, I cud sum up the entire 3-piece testi in one line :
Raghav Sir. Naam hi kaafi hai

In fct, I wudnt hv DARED 2 write testis for Raghav Sir and Deepak .. err (adds as an afterthot ) SIR , 4 the sheer magnitude of their personalities, wich makes many mortals’ pale in comparison- if dis hadnt been d only way of expressing my heartfelt gratitude-cum-apology and great regard for them (n their grace n kindness), as v bid adieu…
I really hope that v live up 2(or go beyond) the standards that your batch has set before us,
Cheers n God Bless … Shruti

******

Now, as we were discussing one day, and this question came up : If you can write 3-piece testis for people you barely know.. how much would you write for people u DO know …

And yeah… even I never realized that. Until the other day, when I sat down to write one for DA Sir ..

(I basically updated the 3-piece testi I’d written for him earlier.. )

So, here goes …. The lengthiest testi .. for my Favourite person on Orkut .. and one of the favourites in life, in general :) … PS. Although after I posted it… it almost embarrasses me .. the sheer length!!

Anywho..

Himanshu

This was long overdue & urgently so, Dear Devil's Advocate...4 d world shld no d phenomenon dat is Himanshu Jailkhani-frm an insider's point of view.D insider being ur err...Sister whom u had the cheek to ask upon meetin aftr 3 long yrs.."what have u grown in2?"...*rolls eyes*btw, if u shud know...my first impression ws tht u've grown in2 a well meaning --but slightly "frivolous" boy!(ha! all ur HP bashing contributed majorly towards this of course)..Butttt..today, I am actually proud of the person that u have grown in2( i myt be the only one in the family tho!! no jk..v al no u enjoy a vry wel desrvd high status amg al d kids). Self-confessed libertarian--in his fanatasy world..."evry1 CAN/SHUD be free to do EVRYTHING...unless u can rationalize against it in terms of anything except MORALS"...so i found myself rationalising with him "why cannibalism is NOT GUD/RITE..." amng othr weird things..but these r nt silly theories of his--its becoz he believes in Ethical Nihilsm(c, did u know ur no freak bt actually

a sophisticated philosopher?) Outwardly, he is a conformist- n a real good one at dat.1 of the beter human beings i hv known in al my lyf(wich is not much tho).Vry rational, sensitive, a thinker, cool as mint--u have to be a monster to get in2 his bad books--a thoro gentleman( i wil quote 4m our li'l sis' "bhaiya chalisa"--has immense respect for women)..nvr loses his cool or raises his voice, great sense of (non-offensive) humor--excelllllent timing..depending on ur perspective of course-his best one was outside our granny's ICU ward at 2 at nite! Verry humble-can suffer fools politely, if not gladly(1 of the favorite preys of "plss-stop-talking-shruti"-wil try all antics to make her STOP TALKING e.g plugging in his earphones, snoring loudly etc except ASK me to shut up(m not dumb,bro,tho i no i luk it ;)), Vry str8frwrd, bt d only reason he mite hold bck frank opinions is tht he is tooooo sweet to hurt any1’s feelings (except his mum’s – tho she gets EVEN :D – their acid- exchange is so much fun 2 watch!)

Is a real ROCKSTAR of a brothr(nope, no ref. 2 the venture called Blown Marrow [:P] –n so what if our li’l sis asked him once -petrified after watching a performance video “Bhaiya, *err-gulp*u guyz hvnt played in public naa?” lolz[;)]) ... *seriously senti mode now* You, of all ppl do not hv 2 ASK me 4 a testi Sada. I love u loads, n owe u loadssss-er still! He is Alwayys just a gtalk-ping away! .. whether I am sad, mad, in tears, happy, exhilarated, in a fix, in dat “I dun want to do mba” mode, or in my “u-know-what ..” mode, check-this-thing-I-need-feedback-on’ mode …WHENEVER I ping him .. he answers back widout fail, patiently, calmly, evil-ly, sarcastically, humorously, wisely, affectionately‘-- oh just the perfect thing to suit the situation… he has this magic wand … and is the reason for many smiles .. both within (n outside) our family [J] …… n d best part—he expects nothing in return!I hv alwys just TAKEN 4m him.. n the only return-paymnts must be my force-fed-stories, so dat doesn’t count!!

I stil rem the day when I ws almost broken- wit my first stint wit d real-world-outside, at IMI … u dun evn know, u loon, what an angel u wre 4 me dat night [:)] .. He helped me ‘DISCONNECT’ (er.. he actually suggested dope as an option, didn’t ya? [:P] ..ookkk .. weird sense of humor- runs in r genes ) .. &Oh gawdd… is so well-cultured, (*yuck*) tht his knowledge n sensitive understanding of so many “home/family/household-related” things put me – 1 of d The Daughters in the family, to shame, with my utter ignorance, n uncultured traits.! On d other hand!! *beats me HOW!* .. manages this very super-cool-rockstar-like lifestyle with friends.. (m seriously worried abt THE JOINTS tho, bro .. *raises brow* ) … has GOOD grey material (strictly non-academic, but with strongly intellectual overtones) … tho I wish he wud spend some more time with books too .. although, it’s too late now ..*sigh* .. Andd.. a/c 2 li’l sis, he used to look like a Pig 4 years ago *what?- they shud know the facts!*.. tho dunno how,

no such traces can be found now.. (err.. on d contrary, at present, maybe thx 2 ur genes, DA Sir,but, I wud more-than-OKAY ur appearance .. n that’s huge certification[:)]) altho..can reallyyy play d Devil's Advocate in every debate( u can have a LOT of mentally/intellectually stimulating convos with him)...with tht all-knowing..stupid, "wise" smirk on his face....wen u find u cant shut him up...here's a mantra...tell him ..."it's alrite, maybe ur rite....NOT A PROBLEM (COMMA)MATE"...watch him go red in the face, ask him why ;)..n sit back n enjoy ur victory... sorry cudnt keep it short yet again...signing off ...please-stop-talking-Shruti

PS. Tell ur Boss Lucifer DA, Thanks but NO THANKS! LOoove is the LAST thing I need *pukes*

And LAST but certainly NOT the least!! ... Thanks a dozen for checkin in, Healer Geller !!!
You cannnnnnot imagine how thrilled I am :) :) :) ... was going to declare a 'Katteee' anytime now .... coz of your inaction for so long :( .... And yeah... The same old girl here(even worse than what u saw !!) ... and I do miss those lectures :( ....

Cheeerrs !! (no cheers for Arps *folds arms-not talking*)

S.O.S !

My summer internship begins from Monday *a chilly shiver running down her shameless
spine* , and I feel like that “bad” kid at school .. who doesn’t “want” to goto school !.. You know, not the kinds who would love a day off (which is the “normal” kind of course!) but the one who DREADS Sunday nights; the one who slides onions under her armpit (okay, I know that sounds gross, but I have heard they actually do it! ..) , to appear to run a high temperature and therefore be exempted from attending school :D..; the one who has to be dragged from under the quilt and doesn’t step out of the house without throwing a fit religiously, everyday.

But I never did any of that of course :( ! ..

On the contrary… I was one of those irritating kids (a liability even for my mum, for that matter!) who would not miss school in peace unless they are immobile-and-ill-in-bed!

But… today…. I dunno why I feel like THAT kid …

I just wish Monday would never come … Or that I would never awake on a Monday morning L …

And I am amazed at the inauspicious eye I am casting on my own career ..by uttering such foul, negative statements..

I know… but, pathetic as it sounds, I reallllllly don’t feel like moving an inch … not a single, tiny solitary inch on the road that will take me to THAT place ......

Gawddd …. What have I grown into? *gulps with an uncomfortable, gnawing feeling inside her*

Err.. whoever happens to be reading this.. do drop in a prayer…

Nooo, not for me… I can take care of myself *puffs with sad-pride* ..

But do pray for the company which has had the misfortune of picking someone like me, and (cheery on the cake !!) paying me decently for doing-god-knows-WHAT-cuz I doubt I would know that -even at the end of those two months of INTERN-ship.

My heart cries out in pain, for the “Human Resources” in question….. those poor, innocent souls, who toil daily, at their desks … believing in the Good of man, in the Justice of the System, ignorant of the fact that the team that “manages” their returns, consists of someone who dreads doing anything remotely connected with what she has been hired to do i.e contribute her bit in “managing” stuff for their betterment.

But I guess, things will go on anyway … with lot many hiccups im sure (aaaaaaaaannn …:( :( ) ..

But yeah.. there shall be a Sunday night tomorrow. Followed by a Monday morning.

And I have no option but to turn up at “work”, do I?

And to put my “best” foot forward (again, not like I have many options there either, the right one looks just as unwilling and ugly, as the left one. Maybe I’ll just have to hop my way to that place.. both feet together, and let the powers-that-be ‘pick’ their favourite… or reject both as unimpressive ..who knows :( )

…

*wakes up from her trance with a jolt and scrolls up to read what she has just typed*

Wow … the kind of garbage that I can come up with. If I had any dignity left, I would not dare to put this up on any public forum!...

But of course, I don’t have any dignity to worry about… Nopes :D :D …

So, I will put it up on the blog anyway ….

Talking of Dignity BTW: .. whatever iota of it I ever had, I guess I sacrificed it at the altar of my Live Project … where the saddest of people(registered on some website database as professional ‘consultants’), sitting in square-inch wide offices ..with “ XYZ Consultants “ written on the rusty board which hangs outside the rustier doors, in dingy corridors, in some decrepit building in Nehru Place, hang up on me with sumfin’ that sounds like a ridiculous

“WeWon’GiveNoPlacements*dhup!*”

… and can u imagine the provocation ,, for this utterly ridiculous presumption (I mean comeon! ..Godwilling, kids at our place will end up with copy-rooms of the size of that sickly blot-on-the-name-of-an-office :P )…

Well, can u imagine the provocation *wails in painful protest* : a decent, greeting with a sometimes inevitable give-away that it’s a student from a B-School on the line L ..and not some “klahh-eeent” or “kash-tuh-murr” (read: ‘client’ or ‘customer’)

Hones’ly! The cheek!! …

Oooooooh, that reminds me… did I mention that it’s rainin’ Jobs for me ;) ..

The other day, I got 5 offers in a single day *chuckles –tho wryly*

Oh yeah! .. that’s a story unto itself …maybe for the next post..

Err..

Bbye for now…

Siiiggggggggghning off again …

God Bless …

To the Raised-Eyebrows of the World ..

You know, I was just surfing the net … a lot of things … moving from some stuff on wind turbines, to AC generators, to analysis of Rank Order Scaling (thx to the curiosity generated while constructing the questionnaire for Divs’ research project , “Job satisfaction in the NGO sector’ :D *met her after AGES! – n still cant get over the goody-goody feeling* ... ) anyhow..

So..was doing all that, when I suddenly remembered having read this newspaper headline the other day: JK Rowling contemplated suicide while struggling as a divorced, single mother. (!!! )

I’d made a mental note to read up on it..but that had slipped my mind (umm…or whatever rudimentary substitute I have for The normal Human Mind)

Well, it just struck me, a while ago, and I keyed in these words … and Lo! U had innumerable pages listed in a second. I clicked on the first article wherein JKR confessed to having been severely depressed, and expressed her gratitude towards her doc who saved her life through Congnitive Behavioural Therapy (In a nutshell, this technique basically identifies those assumptions, beliefs, thoughts, behaviours etc that give rise to debilitating negative emotions leading to depression in the patient, and seeks to help replace those with other positive, self-helping alternatives. This would also involve overcoming avoidance of certain activities due to fear of failure etc)

JKR states that she is happy to discuss her depression to challenge the stigma associated with the condition.

"I have never been remotely ashamed of having been depressed. Never,” she says.

"What's to be ashamed of? I went through a really rough time and I am quite proud that I got out of that.”

Considering the stature that she enjoys in public, and her huge fan following, the fact that The Lady can come out in the open to discuss her own mental disease(n I use the term ‘disease’ on purpose – to rub in the fact that it is something not very socially-palatable), should definitely go a long way in helping many others confront their own problems, or those of their near and dear ones, and to seek medical treatment for the same.

BTW: I recall Vikram Seth coming out to declare that his sexual orientation is ‘Bisexual’- which unfortunately, many prudes or ‘confused-systemists’ greeted with cynicism or outright outrage. The Confused- Systemists are a breed, in my observation, who seek solutions to all problems in the world in the argument that “The System is Supreme- it must prevail, and the established order must not be disturbed in the slightest! The logic, I believe, is that all parts of a system work in harmony with each other, and maintain the overall wellbeing of the system. Thus, one part diverges from the rules laid down, and the system comes to a halt.

Just like a living organism: If the heart starts beating at a different rate one fine day, then obviously, the system that is the human being will suffer. However, the logic is flawed- coz, such deviations may result in illness leading to death in an organism- coz the organism is not dynamic- it cannot change its morphology over its lifespan. A person thrown into water will not develop gills top breathe, no matter how long he manages to stay put there. However, Societies are dynamic systems in every respect. When a change is introduced in the system, the society does not die (except in rare cases of wiping out of an entire civilization- by a catastrophe or massacre, as was attempted by Hitler-wiping out the Jewish race from the face of the earth-)

Societies CHANGE. And that makes all the difference in the world. A people who use stones to kill, capture food, give them a bow and an arrow/ spear – which they can use to kill each other more effectively, wage greater, more elaborate and bloody wars against each other.. well they do all that, but that’s not all they do. And, in effect, they end up doing a lot many more constructive things that they did prior to the introduction of the newer tools and weapons. They donot wipe each other out, as would have seemed possible- the population only swells in size!

Okay, a better illustration. A Society that endorses Polygamy – Such as ancient India. You introduce concepts such as Monogomy, sanctify fidelity to a single life partner, and what you get as a result is not Confusion, Chaos, etc etc but a restructured order: A system which accommodated for the changes, as and when the need arose, and as far as it could stretch, and of course, over a reasonable period of time.

The Confused- Systemists (confused coz they are not very sure about the premise of their logical framework themselves, as I will explain later..) insisted (and here I’m referring to those my age, whom I had the fortune of interacting with ) that Mr. Seth was One, seeking cheap publicity by lending his name to a controversial cause [ahem to that, coz here is the Guy who retorted with a “Behave yourself. Why should I discuss my relationships with you? “, to a fan’s query – “ why don’t you ever tell us about your girlfriend”, some three years ago.] . Two, even if he is ‘Abnormal’, he shouldn’t go around wearing that fact like some kinda ‘badge of honour’, the ConSysts hold.

**** I had started writing this post some days ago. Resumed today… after a loooong break.

Well, to cut a long story short … (coz the sentiment that this issue evokes will run into pages!)

To those consysts, I’d say (like I did the other day, though I don’t think much came out of it) that people like Vikram Seth donot require / desire sensational publicity of that kind and do very well (thank you!) without it.

Secondly, the reason someone of his class and stature comes out and takes a stand on a social issue is NOT to flaunt their “uniqueness” – one that is bound to invite more of ostracism than respect and inclusion, but to lend weight and credibility to the cause. (in this case, Same-Sex issues.)

In the civilized world, this is termed as “socially responsible behavior” on the part of those who have the privilege of voice and vote, and the advantage of visibility, credibility, and resources.

And why do we forget that one need not have be a direct victim, to feel actively for a cause.

You need not be a woman to feel and speak against rape, molestation, gender biases.

You need not dwell in slums and live in abject poverty, to think of and act on measures for poverty alleviation and promoting literacy.

You need not belong to the socially ostracized (unrecognized) class of eunuchs/ homosexuals/ mentally/physically challenged, untouchables and the like, to sympathize with their cause.

(and yes, the clubbing has been done on purpose because there is really not much difference in the nature of these problems.)

This is because you never know when you may find yourself on the other side of the fence…

Desperately yearning for help/support, for a friend, child or parent, from the “normal” people who constitute the majority in this world, with little tolerance for the “abnormal” ones.

A similar hue and cry was raised when JKR declared that ‘Professor Dumbledore was Gay’. Some were offended at the fact that he was “gay” and therefore abnormal, while others merrily jumped to he conclusion that JKR was doing this for cheap publicity- letting slip “scandalizing bits” about the Star of her epic.

I will quote the excerpt from the interview with her, where she first spoke up about this fact of her Epic character’s life.

The way I see it, she had held back this fact about Dumbledore (and yes it’s a FACT coz it was a character close to her heart, and vividly clear to the writer right form the beginning) for so long, to avoid any such unnecessary slander ..and spoke up after so long, only when prodded … and provoked by a direct question (not answering this one without all the facts would have amounted to lying!)

Q. Did Dumbledore, who believed in the prevailing power of love, ever fall in love himself?

JKR: My truthful answer to you... I always thought of Dumbledore as gay. [ovation.] ... Dumbledore fell in love with Grindelwald**, and that that added to his horror when Grindelwald showed himself to be what he was. To an extent, do we say it excused Dumbledore a little more because falling in love can blind us to an extent, but he met someone as brilliant as he was, and rather like Bellatrix he was very drawn to this brilliant person, and horribly, terribly let down by him. Yeah, that's how i always saw Dumbledore. In fact, recently I was in a script read through for the sixth film, and they had Dumbledore saying a line to Harry early in the script saying I knew a girl once, whose hair... [laughter]. I had to write a little note in the margin and slide it along to the scriptwriter, "Dumbledore's gay!" [laughter] If I'd known it would make you so happy, I would have announced it years ago!

JKR --The Potter books in general are a prolonged argument for tolerance, a prolonged plea for an end to bigotry, and I think it's one of the reasons that some people don't like the books, but I think that's it's a very healthy message to pass on to younger people that you should question authority and you should not assume that the establishment or the press tells you all of the truth.

**Grindelwald was an exceptionally bright (like himself) friend of Dumbledore’s, in his young days. He later went on to become a powerful, evil dark wizard, by exploiting his powers for negative use. It was Dumbledore, who took it upon himself to kill him in a duel and end his atrocities, years later.

Ohhh..this brings me to the real reason for this post! …. I was reading this article on how Vatican is up in arms in JKR again (the same old hogwash about the books being anti-christianity, promoting witchcraft, sorcery etc! ) .. and was quite amused by the responses to the article, posed by readers who took well aimed digs at this prudish behavior of the Vatican. Some of them had me in splits!!

Here is that article:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/01/15/nharry115.xml

and here are the absolutely lol-evoking comments!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/01/15/nharry115.xml#comments

Arps, enjoy reading! :D