Mumbling loudly, and incoherently. Again ..

Term’s Over. Summers begin. So does err… a Live Project (whatever that means, and whatever be the reason they call it that) … and I’m tired already. Without having done much productive work. Mentally exhausted, and maybe physically too (the lift was out of order in the hostel last night .. and I HAD to make innumerable trips up and down.)

These lines suddenly spring to my mind … some poem by god-knows-who, and…… baahhh… al just type it down ..and say no more …

“ sunta hoon maine bhi dekha,

kale badal mein chupti chandi ki rekha ..

…

Kale badal, kale badal,

Man bhay se ho uthta chanchal..

Kaun hriday mein kehta pal pal ..

Mrityu aa rahi saaje dal bal “

Ohhhkayyy …. I’m not worried about my mortality, certainly not! It’s just the “kale badal” bit that strikes a chord with me right now.. though, don’t ask me why, I don’t know myself!

Why am I putting up such gloomy stuff here ….

Why am I putting up stuff here at all …

Aaaaaaarrrghhh … I have lost it totally … T-O-T-A-L-L-Y…

It’s just so weird … how things unfold..

Contradictions, it seems, (and *ahem* Ms. Rand, I know…) .. do exist.. and too many of them.

Sometimes, one wishes one did not have ears .. I tell you, that’s the root of all mental anxiety! Sometimes, it’s just soo much more easy to live in utter ignorance- in beatific oblivion of the fact that such and such thing transpired on such and such point on the face of this planet.

Coz, it just becomes so unsettling … to have a volley of facts thrown in about the same person/situation … and all so very contradictory in nature, that you would rather pull out all your hair, one by one, and rest in peace, than pick out the wheat from the chaff, the facts from the fiction … and determine the Truth. The Absolute Truth.

If at all, something like that does exist. And the damage that such ‘revelations’ do to one’s sense of judgement/understanding/opinion … is incalculable!

And you can imagine the dearth of good literature that I have ever read, that I am quoting from a previously written post of this blog, to express my sentiment:

I don’t like people much.

I don’t understand people. And Honestly, I would rather not attempt to..

Coz, the more I do, the more I have a reason to quit!!

My mind is one hell of a tempest, once again!

I dunno what to do.. I dunno what to say …

Except, I wanna go home … (staying back in the hostel tonight, for a totally unanticipated reason … ) …

Gawwddd…. Let this be over… Let there be a new day .. *yawn* as of course, there shall be ..

Btw: we bid farewell to our senior batch today…

Would like to put down some totally lifted oft-heard quotes on bidding adieu, which donot particularly apply in this context, but are very generic …

“The Old Order changeth, yielding place to the new..

But the old order forever remains etched in our hearts”

I distinctly recall .. this was the quote on the very beautiful invitations that we had made for the farewell party of our senior batch in school.. Do you, Arps? Shilpi? (assuming you guys made it to this line in this extremely uninteresting post) ..

And the other one,

To meet and part, is the way of life ..

But, to part and meet, is the hope of life …

Sig(h)ning off …

Shruti F.