'Hows ur Internship coming along?" they all ask me ... here is how ...!

(this post is more like a mindless scribble... so pardon the lack of coherence, flow etc)
After 17 days of doing NOTHING, yesterday(Friday, 25th), I finally got to interview two people. I was ecstatic!
Even though I’m in very bad shape right now, considering that a LOT of time has been lost, at least, I got a start. I dunno why God had planned this for me though; he did not choose to throw me into a system (which I was apprehensive about disrupting anyway..) he chose to throw me into a system-less MESS, Where uncertainty, suspicion, confusion and hope are the order of the day. Well, it would have been interesting to observe and make notes of, if ONLY I had some kind of help … unfortunately, the department I am in has suffered the most, and I end up being an undesirable liability there.
As one senior 60-ish gentleman, (apparently miffed with the Kind Lady sparing two minutes to update me on the mess) thundered, “ arrre Madam, aap Summer Trainee ke saath kyun time waste kar rahi hain!... abhi hum ko koi trainee -vainee ka zaroorat nahii haaai … abhi pehle process ko streamline karne ka haai”
**note: Streamlining for Him begins and ends with: taking printouts- of anything and everything printable, printing a photocopy of the printout, making an entry in a register about the process, doing the needful with the information in the printout, then writing ‘done’ on the sheet, as well as on the register, then filing the sheet in the appropriate folder. Okay, no exaggeration this! .. this is like a remnant of the babu-culture that has probably worked in the past, but seriously .. this process applies to every little thing:: an email about updating xyz employee info in the SAP, and the first Action:: Printout le lo, madam! .. followed by the subsequent steps, till the very last.
As someone fondly (and irritably :P ) put “ Ohhh.. He lovvves paper. Give him paper- He will make more paper. Photocopy the paper. Photocopy the photocopy. And still complain that there is no paper!”
:D Well, even with all my frustration spiraling, it’s funny! And cute, I must say :)
Mind you, even I might have ended up as a printout, a photocopy and an entry in the register with “done” checked across my forehead, neatly filed in the cabinet… IF ONLY I had not been deemed so undesirable an object in the entire process of streamlining, and thus unworthy of being Filed at all, in his view :D
For the past few days, I was making merry at his workstation, since he was out on a tour .. now of course, he will be back, I won’t even get that square inch of space in the office .. hey, not that I mind! This position worked to my disadvantage in the past few days. While I sat there, undesirable, unoccupied, eyes hungry for attention, work (sometimes they ignore me, and change the topic hastily when I try to push in my “plans” for the project! :( coz the execution does not seem to be easy!) .. well, while I sat there, in order to make the most of my time, initially I would search as much as I cud, on all the stuff that could possible help me in my project (I googled up more than was desirable/worthwhile) .. and when I grew tired of that (in the vain hope that they will pay heed, in a while, any moment now .. in some more time ..) I excitedly started documenting my project plan .. I mean I merrily charted my own four-step plan of how I will go about doing it, and forwarded it to the appropriate quarters. It’s been days and days, and I know it lies unread!
Despite my frequent allusions to the plan in conversation, reminders of the mail… somehow, things never take off! I mean I never get a NO- but I never get anything! It is so very weird, that I don’t know what to do :( I just DON’T.
It all lies unread. And it hurts. More so, coz I really don’t see who is to be blamed. If I am not having an easy time, others around me aren’t exactly walking on a bed of roses, either.
*sigh* the state of affairs is such, that I can’t entirely blame them- the office people.
I really should not be working. Not with people, at least. And certainly not in jobs like these.
Maybe I should reconsider my plans of becoming a stand-up comedienne (*sigh* this was ages ago… and Arps was the one who had suggested this to me ..) , or maybe .. I dunno .. what kind of job will not require working with people/getting work out of them? ..
Errrm..
A stand up comedienne.
A newspaper hawker.
I dunno..some more, on similar lines! *sigh of resignation*
If the creator created me, surely he had a plan in mind? But why is he hiding it up his sleeve?
Such lowly sadistic pleasure, God.. must say … I’m not too happy with your way of working *pouts*
Gawwwd !! … anyway ..
So, while I sat before the desktop, trying to appear as occupied as one totally unoccupied person could possibly look, documenting plans that no one ever had the intention of reading … and then.. once I saw that no one really cared … checking mails, reading blogs .. and it was a mark of how frustrated I was .. for the first time ever, I had the option of gtalking, but I never logged in:: cud have orkutted all I wanted .. but never once felt like it.. checked mails, only in the vain hope that somebody from the head office would check on me.. or maybe ..maybe.. some answers will show up!
I even started clicking on mails forwarded by my aunt (from the Sai Foundation) .. !!
With due love and respect to Baba, I had never really bothered with these earlier .. but now I would actually read his messages on love, peace, patience, brotherhood etc etc just to keep myself sane.
Even blogging had lost its charm. Certainly, these things can never give pleasure ..when these are adulterating your work hours. Somehow, reading Godly stuff seemed like less of cheating on work, than reading anything else!
Well, the bottomline is … I would be seen at the workstation, and was ignorant of how to, the 3 new summer interns at the place, it appeared that I was in full gear with my project. Apparently, many intro lectures were held by important people in the organization for these people, and I was not disturbed.. coz everybody assumed that I was full-on into the process!! :( :(
And it was only when after hours of heightened nothingness, boredom and frustration upon being religiously ignored reached its peak, that I walked into the conference room, to check on one of the interns, who seemed to be busy with reading some stuff, to pour my heart out before a fellow sufferer.
Poor thing had suffered the same fate as I had, for the first 10 days (in his region of posting, he was not even let beyond the gate- since the concerned person was not available *ditto my story!* at least I had reached the conference room next to the reception!! Although I did nothing but stare at the walls for hours every day) … But, things are good for him now-the project guide is excellent , and the project is rolling. Amen. I don’t want to cast an evil eye though!
Well anyway, it was only during this enlightening (and very cathartic :) ) interaction that I realized the myth surrounding me and my project, which had further kept me in the dark and put me at a disadvantage.
To cut a long story short (Aaaahh Arps… this one is also a Kodak moment, worthy of a mental picture :D)
After attending a major company function (the first activity at my end, since the day of joining! ) and making very public remarks, jokes etc in exasperation, about the dismal state of my project, I got my first two one-on-one interactions yesterday. And I am grateful :)
Better late than never :D
(will you beat this, one of the uncles even asked me for an ‘office party’ .. heaven knows on what grounds .. I replied that I would definitely throw a grand party the day my project would finally be completed- IF at all. To which he responded with “arrre … you throw us a party, and ur project will be done in no time” :O :O)

Okay, I had fallen asleep last morning (yes, around 7-ish in the morning!) typing this post, and am writing this again after 12 + hours . Had an exceelllllllllent day :D
Had a huge cribbing session {all stories retold as comedy-in-tragedy} with my favourite cribbing audience:: My Family (extended family that is :D)
And as usual, have come home more cheerful and hopeful in heart, and armed with more tips on what to do with my godforsaken life :P
One of my fav. Lowly Moments today::
IB Uncle (look of concern):: Cheer up, Shruti. Poor thing, look how tense she is, about her project!
HB(rolling eyes, with an evil glint):: That’s becoz she loves being tense. When it was not her Project, it was an assignment, or her MBA or her Exams .. ‘Tense’ is her keyword.
So what Tense are you Shruti?*at his lowest best* Past Tense, Present tense or Future tense?
Me (Matching the low standards of the discourse)*with a sigh*:: I guess in the near future, I will be Past Tense
(Collective Sigh suppressed under laughter :( )

Before signing off, I just want to register something: My internship etc apart, I have come to know a very clean soul in this place (My new Guide kinds...) She belongs to a rare breed- a rare combo of intelligence, simplicity, humility and a good heart, - especially in the corporate world. People tell her she won’t survive long this way- sans airs or diplomacy :P … even I wonder how she did survive so long :D … here’s wishing her all the very best in life :)

************Long, strange break of many many phone calls *gulp*

okay, al post this now ... got work to do as well!!
Best …
Shruti